The Best Thing You’ve Done As A Parent!
Over coffee recently, my friend told me about a wonderful experience she’d had with her adopted child and ended with, “This is the best thing I’ve done as a parent!”
My friend took her daughter on an organized trip to her birth country, so her daughter could learn about it, see the exact spot where she was found, visit the orphanage that took care of her (she even got to see her first baby pictures!), and gain a real sense of where she’s from.
The whole experience was incredibly moving and allowed her daughter to claim proudly her origin, her birth country, and her heritage as important parts of her identity. It was the right trip at the right time, and the changes in her daughter have been profound. The joy of seeing this shift in your child, and feeling that you did the right thing to facilitate it, are beyond words.
So often we start our personal growth from a place of feeling that something is wrong, upsetting or missing. These are real, normal and valid reasons for gaining awareness there is something we want to change in our lives, and then taking action to make those changes.
At the same time, my friend’s comment reminded me that we can also use our strengths as leverage for change. In fact, there’s a whole field in social science literature devoted to this.
So, what if we try it?
Here are four questions to ask yourself. If you’re up for it, try journaling on these questions to go even deeper.
1) What things are you most proud of doing as a parent, that are helping your child grow into the person you want them to be?
Here are ideas other people have shared, to get you started:
I found the right school for my child when she was struggling in the school she was in and her self-esteem was dropping. Now, she’s learning and back to her happy self!
I got my child involved in volunteer work, so he can learn to help others. He loves it and is really dedicated to it!
We’ve taken a family trip every summer. I want my children to see different places and enjoy the adventure of going somewhere new.
2) As you think about these things you’re most proud of, what do you really want to acknowledge or celebrate yourself for?
Here are some more ideas based on the examples in Question One:
Despite my fear and uncertainty, I have strength in hard times. It’s important to advocate for my child and trust my instincts about what she needs. When I do these things, good things happen. She needs me to do this for her.
My values matter and I’m acting on them. I’m raising my child to care about others and to actually do things that make the world a little better. This is really important to me. I feel like I’m teaching him something that will last a lifetime … that this is a value he will always carry with him (at least I hope he will!), because of the volunteering we do as a family. This makes me feel really good – like I’m being a good parent and have important things to teach my child.
I love traveling! I feel very lucky to be able to travel with my family. I never want to take this for granted. I didn’t realize before that traveling was an important experience I wanted to pass down to my kids. It gives you a bigger sense of the world. It helps you see the ways we are both all the same and have special, unique differences. I want my kids to have this perspective, to be aware of the world, to know there is more than our city, that you can adapt to new situations and figure out how to get around in places where they speak a different language. I want my kids to have confidence in new situations. When I give my kids positive experiences like this, it helps them learn and grow.
3) Where, specifically, do you want to grow from here in your parenting? What do you want to get better at as a parent? What challenge with your kid(s) would you like to solve?
4) Where do you need support to grow and find solutions to your challenges?
Next Steps
How to take your learning even further and strengthen your relationships!
1) If you have a parenting partner, ask them to answer the questions above and then share what you learned.
2) With your parenting partner (or a good friend if you don’t have a partner to share with), set aside time for each of you to compliment the other on what they do well as a parent.
Both of these activities not only make you feel great and more confident, but they also build the relationship between the two of you. It’s always important to strengthen our closest relationships, and in these days, it’s more important than ever!
Take the Next Step
Parenting is a journey filled with challenges and triumphs, and you don’t have to navigate it alone. Every parent deserves guidance tailored to their unique needs. Here are some ways I can support your journey:
1) Get free parenting tips - Click HERE for valuable advice tailored to real-life parenting challenges.
2) Explore parenting classes - Click HERE to discover classes designed to empower and inspire you.
3) Schedule a free, confidential consultation - Click HERE to connect for a one-on-one conversation about your family.
I believe every family deserves guidance that honors your individual needs, and I’m passionate about helping parents find practical, meaningful solutions that help their family thrive. Let’s work together to create positive and lasting changes for your family.